An unexplainable nearness to God overwhelms me like no other time or place than when I’m in the Holy Land. I’ve been twice. After the first visit, I thought I’d never have the time or money to return. Now, after my second trip, I long for a third. My studies of Scripture and intimate times listening to His voice came to life while walking in the footsteps of Jesus and sitting on a boat in the Sea of Galilee. I was awakened to an explosion of His Word in my mind and spirit. I saw, heard, tasted, smelled, and felt the personal applications of biblical stories that penetrated my whole being. The church camp high I experienced as a kid pales in comparison. And unlike youth camp, this acute excitement, clarity, and passion for Jesus and His Word will not wear off—or so I thought.
The truth is, it did. Eventually, after reentry into my messy world, my faith waned, my fervor decreased, and discouragement made its home in my heart and mind. I often return to my Holy Land photos and journal entries to remind myself of the Spirit’s work during those days. Two particular pictures remain etched in my mind: a view of the Sower’s Cove from a boat in the Sea of Galilee and a view of the cove from above on the Mount of Beatitudes. I found it fascinating that Jesus could be heard teaching from a boat in the cove by the multitudes standing on the shoreline and sitting even further up on the hill.
Whether He whispers or He has to shout, more than anything, I long to hear His voice again speaking into my life. As I thought about the pictures I took of the cove, a holy nudging pushed me to return to the synoptic gospels to read about the parable of the sower. As His boat swayed in the cove, Jesus taught this significant message.
I found my faith journey and relationship with Jesus and His Word within these passages. I love the way Jesus taught. With the object lesson right in front of him, he shared the parable with those who were undoubtedly very connected to the agrarian culture.
The farmer sows the seed. Some of that seed falls along the path rather than in the deeper soil of the field. It cannot take root before the birds snatch it away. Although the enemy can’t steal my salvation, I know he will do all he can to distort the truth of God’s Word, just like he did with Jesus in the wilderness. It is the very reason Peter instructs believers to be self-controlled and alert—the enemy prowls around looking for someone to devour (1 Pet. 5:8). When I neglect time with the Lord and time in His Word, I am more vulnerable to the one who wants me to forget the truth of God’s Word.
Some of the seed fell on the rock where it couldn’t mature. The plant withered with shallow soil and little moisture. Jesus explained to His disciples that this seed represents people who receive God’s Word with joy but have no root. When tested, they fall away. In my times of testing, sometimes I pursue Jesus wholeheartedly, seeking His presence and guidance. Other times, I blame Him for my struggles and trials. At times I feel angry that in His sovereignty, He has allowed less than optimal choices, timing, and outcomes.
But who am I? I must keep my root in good and deep soil. If I don’t, every time my relationships or circumstances don’t go the way I think they should, I’ll fall further away from the truth of God’s Word and deeper into the pit of blaming the One who is Lord over it all and knows what’s best for me. Only if I surrender and entrust myself fully to my loving Savior will my faith continue to grow and mature.
Other seeds landed in thorny places. The thorn bushes grew alongside the good plants and strangled them. Jesus explained these people hear God’s Word; but are choked by life’s worries, riches, and pleasures. In my journey, I’ve gotten distracted. I’ve spent time worrying and trying to control things that are out of my control. I’ve been sharply poked by the thorns of materialism and strangled by seeking my comfort. When thorny weeds are allowed to grow side by side with beautiful maturing plants, the thorns are bound to take over. Duplicity in my life will lead to stagnant faith. Where have I allowed myself to become polluted by the world? (Jas. 1:27) What thorny weeds do I need to pull? What is the Lord asking me to let go of that is hindering my growth in Him?
Thankfully Jesus does not leave us hanging. The seed that lands on good soil represent those who hear the Word, retain it, persevere in it, and produce a crop. How do I ensure the seed lands on good ground in my life? The good soil is my cultivated heart for God. God’s Word is true and never changes, so the variable in this parable is the condition of my heart.
The Greek word for heart is kardia. It is the center and seat of spiritual life. It embodies the soul, mind, thoughts, emotions, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, and endeavors. The Hebrew word for heart is Levav. The Israelites also considered the heart as the organ where choices are made. How can I ensure God’s Word lands in my heart, germinates, grows to maturity, and produces a crop?
When I studied the word “heart” in the New Testament, I ran across this passage in John 2:23-25. “Many people saw the miraculous signs he was doing and believed in His name. But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. He did not need man’s testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man.” Jesus knows what’s in our hearts. He looks for genuine conversion rather than the things we want Him to do for us. He knows we can say one thing with our words, but our hearts can reflect something different. This takes my breath away. In other words, I’m in cardiac (kardia) arrest because I know this is true of my own heart. I might be able to conceal my heart outwardly and speak the right words, but God knows. He reveals with just a glance.
“For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him” (2 Chron. 16:9). I long for Him to glance my way and catch my gaze. I want to seek His face and lock eyes with the Lord. That’s when I experience incredible intimacy and heart change. This idea of seeking God’s face is mentioned many times in Scripture. It is translated as being in God’s presence. In a journal entry, I wrote:
Lord, forgive me for placing my desire to be comfortable over my desire to obey you. I will seek your face; for when I seek your face, I am focused. Cup my head in your hands and fix my gaze on You.
In another entry, I wrote:
Are you playing hide and seek with me? I’m truly seeking you, but I feel you are hiding. Where are you, Lord? Your Word displays how you hid your face from your chosen people because of their sins (Deut. 31:17-18, Is. 59:2b).
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart (Jer. 29:13). It’s with all my soul, mind, thoughts, emotions, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, and endeavors—and choices. All my heart.
How do I cultivate good soil to grow, mature, and produce a crop? After all, “the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jer. 17:9) So am I in charge of the soil of my heart, or is God? I am utterly dependent on Him to give me a new heart. He is the one who removes my heart of stone and gives me a heart of flesh (Ez. 36:26). He is the one who gives me the desire to pick up the hoe and till the soil. It is both/and. He is the changer of hearts. By His grace, we respond by cultivating a heart ready to receive more of Him. This is how I SEEK His face:
Sit at His feet
When I spend time with God I remember I’m seen and heard by the Creator of the universe. Even when I don’t sense His presence, I rely on His Word and know He is with me—so I wait for the Lord. The bad days or difficult seasons are not always an accurate reflection of my genuine love for God, or His continued presence. My feelings are real but not always reliable. This is why time with the Lord is so important. Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, listening to all He had to say, but Martha was distracted by all she thought had to be accomplished. Jesus reminds us that only one thing is needed, and Mary chose better (Luke 10:38-42).
Examine my heart, confess, and repent
One thing that hinders our intimacy with the Lord is our disobedience. If I’m harboring sin or holding onto something the Holy Spirit has made clear I’m to let go of, I’ve abandoned my whole-hearted commitment. Duplicity enters. My thoughts, words, and actions veer from what I say I believe and know to be true. My heart is prone to wander if I don’t examine it daily and ask the Lord to do the same.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Ps. 139:23-24). When I confess my sins to the Lord, He forgives my sins and cleanses me (Ps. 32:5, Jas. 5:16). But since I don’t know my heart as He does, I’m often blind to sin that has crept in—all the more reason to humbly ask the Lord to examine my heart. God promises that if we humble ourselves and pray and seek His face and turn from our sins, He will forgive us (2 Chron. 7:14).
Experience his presence in conversation
If I look intently at His Word, I’m reminded of God’s character and who I am in Him. I am made in His image, the Imago Dei, and created to bring Him glory as I become more like Jesus. “The Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Heb. 4:12). His Word leaps off the page and we dialogue. It changes me: I’m encouraged, convicted, humbled, and strengthened. Conversely, when I don’t spend time in God’s Word, I lose sight of who I am created to be because my eyes are on me and not Jesus. James tells us when we look intently into God’s Word—not just hearing it, but also doing it—we’ll be blessed (James 1:25).
Keep meeting with God daily
The more time I give, the deeper the relationship becomes. Daily sitting at the Lord’s feet is the one thing. You can’t meet face-to-face with the living God without intimacy. Psalm 25:14 says, “The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and He makes known to them His covenant” (ESV). The NIV says, “The Lord confides in those who fear Him.” And the HCSB reads, “The secret counsel of the Lord is for those who fear him.”
I long for that kind of friendship with Jesus once again. I long for Him to confide in me and entrust Himself to me. I desire more revelation from His Word and personal revelation from the Holy Spirit. That level of friendship takes time and space. But sometimes, I don’t make room for that kind of intimacy. My once-uncluttered prayer closet has been that sacred space for me. But over the last few months, books, unfiled papers, and gifts and cards I never sent got shoved in my sanctuary. I can’t even leap over the piles to get to my chair in the corner where I used to kneel or sit. There’s nothing magical about this one spot. I spend time with God in other places, but more than anything, it’s a reflection of my cluttered heart.
The picture of the cove, the farmland on the hillside, and the parable of the sower, remind me to cultivate the soil of my heart. We are instructed to guard our heart because it is the wellspring of life—my part (Prov. 4:23). I’m dependent on God to create a pure heart and renew steadfast spirit within me—God’s part (Ps. 51:10). I know that when I seek God’s face with all my heart, He will capture my gaze, and we’ll sit face- to-face.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”
Matthew 5:8
If you enjoyed “Face to Face,” you might like this one.
I love this picture. I have dreamed of going there but don’t plan to at this point.
I could sit at the edge of grapevine lake or other and spend time on his presence. I have drifted from traditional church, but I will be back.